Thursday, January 15, 2009
Winter Narrative
One thing that I did over Christmas break was I went over to Brandon Montoya’s house for a New years eve party. The people that were there was Alex my girlfriend, Brice Wolf Brandon’s friend, Brice Wolf’s girlfriend, Damon Brice’s friend, Brice’s parents, Nick Urban, and of course Brandon’s parents. At first I started out by having some Dominos pizza upstairs with everyone around 8 p.m. After that we went to his basement and played a wide variety of games. In his basement he had a Wi, pool table, foosball table, ping pong table and big screen TV that his wi hooked up to. This gave us a lot of options for us to do throughout the night. First I went and watched a little bit of TV before playing the Wi. On the Wi we played bowling which can be quite fun, but can get boring after awhile as well. Then I played a few games of pool with various people, to name a few Brice’s Dad Curt, Alex, and Brandon. After playing those games I chilled out for a little while before I played ping pong with Alex, Brandon’s Dad Leo and Nick. By the time I had got done playing all of these games it was the New Year already and I hadn’t even had realized it. Afterwards around 12:20 a.m. I took Alex home since she had a 12:30 curfew, and chilled out there till about 1:30. After that I went home and the night was over. Looking back on the night I had a good time with all my friends and girlfriend. All the games, food, drinks, friends made it a really good new years. Not to forget, but I had about 5 mountain dews over new years it was quite awesome and I wish I could have them everyday. That just wouldn’t workout with wrestling unfortunately. You see before wrestling when I was in football I had a mountain dew pretty much everyday so it was a rough transition to wrestling without mountain dew. This is what made the having mountain dew on new years such a good thing since I hadn’t had it for at least two months. All in all the New Years eve party was a lot of fun and a memorable time.
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Nathan: I liked your topic, but it was too broad. You should have focsed it in more to make your wiritn gmore descriptive. Also, the way you are writng your sentences and using word choice is dry. I didn't feel like you were excited about your topic, so it made it hard for me to do the same. Really focus in editing your essays to incorperate that voice I know you have.
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I liked your story because I was able to relate to everything you did. One thing you could maybe inprove on is using more emotion to make the story more interesting to read. You did a good job on staying on topic and not wondering around. You also did a good job on telling who was all there and what they all did. It was very cool reading about what you did over break.
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